FAITH

May 17, 2018 [WILDLY KRAZY]—"Babe, I'm home.... Babe?" Ryder yelled throughout the house.

Ryder was tall—six foot, two inches—and dominated with a lean, muscular build. His hair was a light brown, with a very short-fade-haircut. His eyes were a bright green, while he rocked a clean-shaven, chiseled face.

Ryder played football in high school and in college—the starting tight end for both schools. While attending college, Ryder earned his Master of Business Administration [MBA] degree. After college, Ryder became a successful business owner of a business-consulting firm, working across the nation for regional banks, corporations, and small businesses.

He was smart, well spoken, very confident, and had a professional attitude. Everyone around Ryder knew that he was excellent and an expert at what he did. High-paying customers literally put on waiting lists for his expertise in business. With his success, came another marriage—a marriage to his job.

Ryder constantly traveled across the nation for paying clients, corporations, and businesses. However, the constant travel put a strain on the family, and his marriage. Ryder was three states away when Faith was giving birth to Connor, missing everything from his first steps to his first words...

"Damn it, Ryder—you scare the shit out of me every time you open the door! You know I'm asleep at this time of night! Quit; I can't take it anymore!" Faith yelled at Ryder, while pissed off.

"Sorry, Babe—I didn't realize.... it's about the truck... Never mind; I'll talk to you in the morning about it," Ryder said, calmly.

Before Ryder completely closed the door, he took a last peek into the bedroom through the cracked door, looked at Faith, and smiled... "She was beautiful, and his entire world," he thought to himself.

Growing up in a large, middle class, farming-family, Faith came from a completely different background than Ryder, but nothing short of a miracle. 'Lela' was Faith's intended name, until her mother changed it after her birth.

Three weeks premature, Faith nearly died during birth, forcing the hospital to hook her up to heart monitors and breathing machines for several weeks as a newborn.

Being the second youngest among six children, Faith knew what struggle and hard work was all about. Throughout school, her mother and father pushed her to be the best she could be. Her schooling and grades were top priority. Dating she did little of, until she met Ryder after a high school football game.

Ryder was a year older than Faith—a senior as she was a junior.

After graduating high school at the top of her class, Faith earned scholarships, while Faith's mother and father helped pay the rest of her way through college, as she worked part time at the hospital, while going to college as a full time medical student. Faith graduated with an undergraduate degree in biology, graduating as a Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine, and then trained and specialized as an Anesthesiologist.

Faith was average height for a woman—five foot, nine inches—petite, vivacious, and very attractive. She had blondish-brown hair, blue eyes, and kept her hair at shoulder length.

Faith, too, was very professional—constantly wearing suits or surgical scrubs—always working long hours and weekends, as she, too, was married to her career. Thus, both their careers got in the way of social and family interaction. Holidays were their only-real time together, if they were lucky, and did not have to work.

Connor was their main priority, though—always doing what they thought best for him.

After Ryder closed the door, Faith leaned over and looked at the baby monitor, and then glanced at the time on the clock, noticing that it was 11:11 pm. Not even thirty seconds later, she heard their two-year-old son, Connor, over the baby monitor, saying, "Dada, truck. Dadadadada—truck."

Quickly, she got out of bed and headed across the house to their son's room.

"Ryder, why must you always wake up our son?!" Faith screamed and asked in confusion.

Connor was a happy, bald, chunky, blue-eyed, two-year-old baby boy that loved to play and eat. His favorite words, of course, were "Dada" and "truck"... Connor greatly resembled Ryder in both appearance and demeanor, but he had Faith's calm, loving personality.

"Sorry, Babe—I was just trying to tell Connor about the truck," Ryder said, as he walked past Faith, headed out of the baby's bedroom.

Right before he got to the doorway, Ryder turned around, angry, and said, "You know, Faith—you never listened to a god damn person in life; you're so fucking hard-headed!" Ryder screamed.

"It's ok, Connor—go back to bed, Baby Doll," Faith said, as she tried to reassure the baby...

"Damn it, Faith—why the fuck aren't you listening to me?! Quit ignoring me, like you always fucking do!" Ryder screamed, as he knocked pictures off the baby's bedroom wall.

"That's it! I've had enough of this fucking house, Ryder! I can't stay here another night! Come on, Connor—we're going to Grandma's house," Faith said, frantically, as tears ran down her cheeks.

"That's fucking it, Faith—walk away like you've been doing the past year—that'll fix everything, huh!? The fucking truck, Faith—the fucking truck!" Ryder screamed, as he got even more angry, throwing the baby's toys across the room, smashing the toys into the walls, leaving behind gouges and holes, broken toys, broken glass, and cracked picture frames throughout the living room floor, where he flung them from the baby's room.

As toys flew past her head, Faith ran out of the bedroom, and sprinted down the hallway—still in her nightclothes—as she wrapped the baby up in a blanket on the run.

Ryder darted after Faith, knowing that he fucked up.

"Faith, I'm sorry! Faith, please talk to me!"

On her way out, Faith grabbed the car keys as quickly as she could, and slammed the front door shut—not wasting any time locking the door.

Ryder looked through the front room window as Faith and his two-year-old son drove off.

"What have I done? How can I get her to listen to me?" Ryder asked, as he bowed his head and sighed...

The next morning, Faith called her psychiatrist...Sarah was her name...

Faith met Sarah seven years ago through hospital patients that required psychiatric help. Sarah was twelve years older than Faith; very wise, and generous, but very up-front and outspoken—kind of like your 'crazy aunt.'

"I left the house last night," Faith said, as she sat in her car, on her smart phone, in the hospital parking lot.

"What happened?!" Sarah asked, frantically, as she grabbed a pen and paper to jot down notes from the conversation that was about to occur.

A constant, light drizzle rain fell, hitting the windshield of Faith's car, creating a constant, depressing pitter-patter, as Faith gazed out of the car at the gray, gloomy rain clouds that dominated the skyline, thinking about last night, and past events.

It was a wet, cold, October day, with gray overcast—temperatures in the high forties.

"I know you think I'm crazy by now...."

"No, no, Faith—this is what I do, Honey—I'm here to help... "

"He got more violent; more than he has ever been... I was too scared to stay there. I actually feared for Connor..." Faith said, as more tears ran down her cheeks.

"What about work?" Sarah asked.

"I used a week of my vacation. If this doesn't get any better…I don't know how much more I can take...I just need out of the house. I can't focus anymore..." Faith said, crying.

"We mustn't run away from our problems, Faith... It could come back, again.... This is the third house you and Connor have been in, just in a year," Sarah said, trying to reassure Faith...

"Sarah, what am I to do? I'm scared in my own fucking house, and it's every night that this happens," Faith said, upset.

"I understand, Faith—but try to understand where I'm coming from... As you have seen, running is only making the problem worse... Each house…it's only gotten worse... 11:11pm?" Sarah asked.

"Yes..."

"Honey, he's trying to get your attention, but you keep ignoring him, and running... Put yourself in his position—wouldn't you be pissed off, too, if he constantly ignored you, while running away?" Sarah asked.

"I guess—I just don't know anymore... Sometimes, I truly believe that I'm losing my mind. What would happen to Connor if....?"

"If what? If what, Faith?"

"I couldn't take the pain and heartache anymore? I still love Ryder..."

"Stop talking like that! Nothing is going to happen—you'll be fine, Faith! Connor depends on you; you have to be there for him! Faith, this is the problem—you must let him go," Sarah said, sternly.

"But how? Ryder and I are high school sweethearts—and he still lives in the house."

"I see you took my advice and took Galen up on his date offer... How are things going between you and Galen? You guys have been talking for the past month and a half, right?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, Galen is a nice guy... It's just..."

"Just what, Faith?" Sarah asked, confused.

"The feelings just aren't there.... Galen could never replace Ryder, especially for Connor."

"No man could ever replace a child's father, but Galen could make a wonderful friend to Connor. You have to give Galen a chance, Faith. If you want this heartache gone, you must be honest with yourself—with Ryder—and move on. Does Ryder know about Galen; I mean has Galen been over to the house?" Sarah asked.

"Galen has never been over, and I don't think Ryder has a clue, unless he follows and watches my every move, which, if he did, it would not surprise me, one bit... I'm meeting Galen for lunch in two hours, and then I'm headed to the house, packing up Connor's things, so he can stay at Grandma's house for a while..."

"You can't run, Faith..." Sarah said, trying to remind Faith.

"I'm not running... I just don't want Connor there while I face Ryder and tell him everything..."

"Good; good job, Faith... You must be hundred-percent honest with Ryder—with everything. Faith, truth hurts, but it's truth that sets us free," Sarah said, urging Faith to follow advice.

"That's just it…I never wanted to be free. I'll tell you how everything goes."

"I'm here whenever you need me, Honey," Sarah said, reassuring Faith.

Galen sat across from Faith at the restaurant booth, looking at Faith as she stared out the window in a gaze of concentration and deep thought, barely talking... The two decided to have Italian for lunch, but Faith sat there, quiet, the entire time, taking little notice of Galen.

Galen was a divorced father of three children, and a colleague at the hospital, who worked as a trauma surgeon. Galen was five years older than Faith—and far less attractive than Ryder—as gray hairs dominated his head.

Compared to Ryder's attitude, Galen was jade and apathetic. The two men were day and night—a dispassionate, book-nerd in one corner, and an out-going jock in the other corner.

"Just coffee?" Galen asked, as he watched Faith trace the rim of the coffee-cup with her pointer finger.

"I'm not hungry. Too much on my mind right now," Faith said, as she gazed outside at the wet, colorful leaves that covered the rain-soaked ground.

"Look, I know what you're going through," Galen said.

"I went through the same thing with my wife," Galen added, trying to convince Faith that he understood.

"Funny…everyone tells me that, but no one has the slightest clue of what I've been going through... Three houses in the last year…no sleep…while taking care of a baby and a full time job, while everyone else plays part-time parents and know-it-alls," Faith said, with a smart-ass reply, referring to Sarah and Galen.

"It's time to move on, Faith... This is not healthy. You still wear the wedding ring, even though we've been talking for almost two months now," Galen said, annoyed.

"This ring will never come off my finger, so before you try and jump into a relationship with me, you better understand that first and foremost," Faith shot back, with an irritated attitude.

"Galen, I have not even kissed you once, nor do I barely hold hands with you. Can't you see? You could never replace Ryder... There's nothing there between you and I, and probably never will be... I got to go pack Connor's things at the house," Faith said, as she got up from the booth, not finishing her coffee.

Before she left—as Galen just sat and stared at Faith in disbelief—Faith put a $10 bill on the table in front of Galen to pay for the coffee she ordered.

Faith then walked out of the restaurant—not saying a word to Galen as she walked away—got into her car, and headed to her house.

As she was driving home, a text from Galen came across her phone, saying, "I'm sorry."

Faith looked at the message as more tears streaked down her face.

Faith pulled into the driveway of her house, deleted Galen's message from her phone, and then noticed the last message she received from Ryder—that she never deleted.

"I'm on my way home, Babe—love you and missed you," stated Ryder's text message…a message she was never able reply to.

More tears ran down her face, as she stared at Ryder's text message from a year ago, wishing she had seen it sooner, so she could have at-least responded with, "Love you, too."

Faith took in a deep breath as she got out of the car and headed for the house.

Opening the door, the pictures still laid on the living-room floor, as glass shards glimmered from the sun beaming through the windows.

Faith noticed a cracked and broken picture frame on the floor that once held a picture of Ryder holding a six-month-old Connor—her favorite picture. Thus, Faith carefully walked through the glass to retrieve the picture, causing the glass to crack, echoing throughout the quiet house.

Faith picked up the picture and removed it from the broken frame, and then gazed at her two, handsome men with painful-ecstasy, as she smiled with tear-filled eyes.

With the picture in hand, Faith headed over to the dining room table to sit the picture down, as she noticed her laptop was turned on, showing one new Whisper notification, while the scent of Ryder's favorite cologne lingered-strong throughout the house, even though the house was dead-quiet, with no sign of Ryder.

Faith checked her KRAZESTER account, and noticed that it came from Ryder's account, last night, about ten minutes after she left the house with Connor.

"Sorry, Babe—I didn't mean to upset you, or to harm you or Connor. You know I love you both with all my heart, and I'm truly sorry. I just wish you'd listen to me, and stop running; it hurts bad not being able to hold you anymore, or being able to rock Connor to sleep. You are my first love, and my only love. I miss you and Connor...

Love, Ryder.

P.S. Watch out for the truck, Babe!"

As tears ran down her cheeks, she darted to the bedroom closet, and dragged out a shoebox, confused as to how she received the Whisper... Was it a sick prank, or was Ryder truly trying to contact her, as Sarah said?

Faith opened the shoe-box, revealing pictures of Ryder and her...pictures that consisted of them at their high school prom—pictures of them at their wedding, and pictures of Ryder holding Connor. She even found pictures of them at their college graduations, along with the two's vacation to the Caribbean, before they had Connor.

Everlasting memories of Ryder lay within the shoe-box. Emotions of sorrow, anger, and happiness rolled through Faith as she looked at the pictures one by one.

No one in a thousand years could have guessed the pain that would engulf this role model of a family… They were high school sweethearts that were happily married. They had successful careers, their own business—college degrees—a healthy baby—they had it all.

Looking through more papers and pictures, she pulled out an old newspaper clipping, which stated the following:

"Ryder E. Mathews.

1983-2017

Ryder E. Mathews, 34, St. Joseph, Missouri, died Saturday, October 17, 2017, while his car was struck by a drunk driver in a truck, on his way home from work. Mr. Mathews pronounced dead at the scene, at 11:11pm.

He was born on January 11, 1983 to David and Helen [Lawson] Mathews.

He graduated from Benton High School, and attended college at the University Of Missouri, receiving his Master Business Administration [MBA] degree, and as the starting tight end for the university's football team. Mr. Mathews owned his own business consultant firm, working as a business consultant for major corporations, banks, and small businesses across the nation.

He was a Freemen member.

Survivors: wife of 9years; Faith, son; Connor, by his parents; and brothers; Josh and Devin Mathews., nephew; Hunter Mathews [James], other numerous nieces and nephews.

Services: Will be held at a later date."

Faith kissed a picture of Ryder, before putting the pictures back into the box, and into its original place. Faith then walked over to the laptop, and replied to Ryder's Whisper with the following:

"I love you even more, Babe, and we will see you very soon, today. Try and rest in peace."

Not doing what she initially went there for, she walked out of the house and looked back in with a smile. Locking the door, she headed over to her mother's house to pick up Connor.

"How do you feel, Hun?" Faith's mother asked.

"Much better... I feel like I can breathe now, knowing that Ryder will always be there looking after us... "

"I'm glad that you've found peace, and I'm sure Ryder will find peace knowing that, too. He was a good man, Faith."

"I know. I'm taking Connor to visit Ryder's grave today, just to say 'hello'. I'll talk to you later, Mom—love you."

"Love you too, Hun".

Sitting at a red light, Faith noticed that Connor was looking over to his left—looking at the empty backseat next to him—smiling and jabbering at an invisible person.

Faith smiled at Connor, with a new sparkle in her eye—a sparkle of a new beginning, and an everlasting peace.

"Let's go visit Dada, Connor," Faith said, as she drove through the intersection.

"Dada, truck…"

"What do we have?!" asked a frantic paramedic.

"A truck ran a red light, striking the car. The car is mangled," said a firefighter

"The occupants?"

"Two—both pronounced dead at the scene at 11:11 am… A young woman and an infant."

"Ryder...?!"

"Hey, Babe... Hey, Connor—we're together now—let's go home…"

A story by KRAZED—enjoy, Krazees!