SEXY TEACHERS

July 9, 2018 [WILDLY KRAZY]—I have decided to start Kick'n It with you fuckers, periodically—for the simple fact, I am always bullshitting, and I love socializing with people about the most random shit.

Yes, today, I removed the "Asinine Pestilence" comic strip, but do not worry, it is coming back. You see, I have been drawing "Asinine Pestilence" since high school, as I sat in class bored to death. However, in high school, I used a different art style than I used for WILDLY KRAZY—a style I did not like. In fact, that is the reason I only did three strips for the comic on WILDLY KRAZY.

I should have followed the saying, "if it's not broke, don't fix it."

Everyone that personally knows me, knows that I love to socialize and bullshit—mainly just about random shit that spontaneously pops into my head. Therefore, I followed my employees advice, and decided to start writing and sharing my random, spontaneous shit with you fuckers…my fellow Krazees.

On May 5, 2018, we launched WILDLY KRAZY, and our very first article, SUGAR BABIES: FUCKING FOR MONEY, written by former Marine, and one of my KRAZESTERS, Titus.

By far, that is my favorite article on WILDLY KRAZY—he did an amazing job, in my opinion; however, we need to get the fucker to better proof read and spell.

On the same day he published the article, I found six grammar and misspellings, and I was flipping out because it was our first article, on our launch day.

I texted the fucker, saying "hey, dick breath—I fixed six spelling mistakes of yours in your article; now you owe me a case of beer."

He replied, "maybe you should hire an editor."

I texted back, "editors are for writers that can't write or spell—Shakespeare didn't have an editor…"

He replied, "Shakespeare didn't know how to spell his own name, either."

I replied back, "okay, asshole—you got me there."

Check this out; I actually learned something outside of school as a journalist… Crazy, right? Shakespeare had no idea how to spell his last name, so he used several signature variants on legal documents, such as the mortgage deeds on property in Blackfriars, and his will, which consisted of Shaksper, Shakespe, Shakespere, and Shakspeare.

Go ask your language and history teacher, and see if they know those cool facts… I never learned that in school throughout my countless years of learning about and reading Shakespeare, either.

However, I will be honest, though—I could have been asleep in class, too… Shakespeare bored the hell out of me, because I could not understand a damn thing he was talking about. I mean, what the hell is "honorificabilitudinitatibus"?

“I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitundinitatibus: thou art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon.”

Can someone translate that into English, please? Swallowed...flap-dragon...is he talking about oral sex?

It blows my mind schools still teach Shakespeare, anyway. I mean, I prefer Doctor Seuss, because I can at-least, somewhat, understand his books. However, I am a little fucked up on the whole "that Sam-I-Am! That Sam-I-Am! I do not like that Sam-I-Am!"

Who is Sam?

Anyways, since May 5, 2018, we have had 629 confirmed teachers subscribe to WILDLY KRAZY, which is exciting and confusing at the same time, because when I was in school, my teachers fucking hated me, except my sexy, young counselor.

I had a teacher tell me that I was going to "end up in prison," because I "was too rebellious, and did not respect authority," and he was correct, because I ended up working at a prison, making twice the amount as that fucker, and get this, I saw his son in prison while I worked there. This teacher was also my basketball coach.

Now all of a sudden, the teachers like my style and attitude? I do not understand it…

You see, when I say confirmed subscribers, I mean these teachers are using their school email addresses with zero fucks in the world. I laugh because have you seen and read the content on our site? Is there no way for the school district to see or view teacher emails and subscriptions?

"Miss Red, we noticed you were receiving emails that contained content promoting nudity, sex, drugs, orgies, and alien anal probing…"

"Uuuuuuuuuhhhhh….about that…ummmmm…a science experiment for the class…"

I like that style, though—teachers with zero fucks to give—because fuck it, and fuck them, right?

I honestly think teachers are finally becoming Krazees—for the simple fact of how beautiful and sexy they have become over the years…  I mean, have you seen today's teachers? I get a chubby every time I walk into my daughter's grade school.

Okay, let us clarify that last statement… I get a chubby every time I stare at the teachers at my daughter's school.

These chicks are in their early twenties, rocking leggings and mini-skirts to school. Where the fuck were the hot teachers when I was in school?!

I shit you not—there is a new teacher in my former high school that puts Jessica Biel to shame! When I was in high school, my language teacher had ape titties that sagged to her knees.

Dear, Lord—forgive me for that statement.

I personally know a kindergarten teacher that looks like a young Jennifer Aniston, and luckily, this hot teacher sent me nudy pics as proof—like a super model—beings we're the same age, and graduated from the same high school.

I told her, "if my kindergarten teacher looked like you, I would have colored a million fire trucks red, and I would have never ran out of class, either."

These young bloods—15, 16-year-olds—are getting busted for having sex with these gorgeous teachers, too.

I am not going to lie—I am jealous as hell, because if I had teachers that looked just as good, I would have loved school, and I would not have said a damn word about bending Miss Red over the desk, either.

"I don't know what you're talking about... Miss Red hates me—you hate me."

See, I already have the best excuse.

Hey, young bloods—you have a good thing going, so cherish it, and keep your mouths shut—do not brag; and do not tell anyone. Most importantly, do not text or post that shit on social media, because everything can be hacked and traced, no matter the website or system.

I have two former Air Force guys that work for me as IT, who worked for Uncle Sam prior, conducting Cyber Warfare, right? They can hack into anything, right?

I asked them one day, "theoretically, if I paid you money to hack into Facebook, and replace Mark Zuckerberg's profile picture with a picture of my dick, you could do that, correct?"

They both looked at me, shaking their heads yes, and said, "order us a pizza, and before that pizza arrives, Mark will have the smallest profile picture in the world."

You know, I would have asked my fellow Marines, but Marines only know the location of the armory and chow hall.

Since May, we have teachers subscribing like crazy, using their school emails and IDs, and what is really weird is the fact damn near all of them are either high school teachers or college professors, which is what our articles are about, so what happened, teachers? When I was growing up, you hated us, but now, you love us…

Things have changed a lot, though, since I left high school. No shit, a year after I graduated, I had several juniors, and sophomores tell me "you guys need to come back, because school is boring now that you four left. No one parties anymore."

I have worked with and talked to several high schoolers and college students over the years, after I graduated, and they say their weekends are "depressing, and not fun."

Of course, they have no idea what changed, and neither do I. As for myself, I had a blast in high school and college…well, outside of class…so what has changed, teachers? Something has definitely changed in society for teachers to subscribe to my shit... Shit had to have changed because in school, they wanted to kill me, but now, when I had Facebook, they were sending me nudy pics, wanting strange-wienered, while their hubbies worked.

With that said, Krazees—it has been fun—damn near 1 million subscribers since May, and I cannot thank you guys enough! Take it easy, Krazees! Yes, that includes you sexy teachers, too!

Expect more of these types of articles from me, as we sit down and kick it—bullshitting and discussing the most random shit.